What do tonsils even do, anyway?

Hey adult thinking about getting your tonsils out, you need to know these things…
This situation hurts like hell but it tolerable with drugs.
Day 1-3: Pain scale: 5. 
Day 4-9: Pain scale: 8-9.
Day 9-14: Pain scale 2-4.
My nurse said on day 15 I would be good to go and not regret my decision to get them out. She was right!
It’s right on the money – day 15 was magical (in comparison to the first 14.)

  • You can eat cereal after about day 8 if you let it soak in the milk for 15 minutes.
  • You can brush your teeth – sounds silly, but I wasn’t sure if I could! You can. :) (for that stank breath)
  • You will be constipated from the drugs for a few days. Buy MiraLAX & start taking it a couple times a day starting around day 3-4. (your butt will be messed up until about day 20)
  • EAT WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR MEDS even if it’s 3am.
  • Narcotics heightened all my senses.
  • Whining HELPS. It’s true I promise. Just cry if you need to.
  • Sleep enough so you don’t have to yawn – yawning is awful.
  • Take advantage of not doing anything for 10+ days – no driving, (essentially) no cooking, less-frequent showers, long long long naps, binge situations (netflix), and visitors!

Days 10 – 15:
When asked how I feel, I say I’m rounding the corner. Not around it, but on the verge of feeling better. My pain really depends on time of day, amount of talking & activity. My ears continue to hurt. Day 13-15 my pain really turned into a tightness feeling more than anything. The worst part of eating is moving my tongue too much – where my tongue meets my throat is raw and terrible. Naps are less frequent & I feel like I’m able to handle normal things at a normal pace – wrong. Walking is tiring and being up & about for a few hours is far too long. My body just slept and went on very low fuel for 2 weeks – thinking I am ready to go, go, go is naive. Oh well, I learned the hard way for you! Take it easy.


The weekend (day 8 & 9):
WOW MY EARS HURT.
Also, where my tongue and throat meet feels like I’m swallowing razor blades (sorry for that visual).
Today (day 8) was the first day I really, seriously felt like it hurt too much to talk.
Usually I can handle it, but today was rough.
I got a lot of school work done! But I didn’t talk or swallow once while doing it (about 4 hours) so when I did finally open my mouth it was EXCRUCIATING I almost tipped right over.*
I had ice cream for lunch and noodles for dinner in case you were wondering.
Day 9
Today I learned that yawning is not a graceful thing.
TMI coming at you – narcotics make you constipated so don’t laugh, but I did the #2 today after about 5 days!
I went most of the day today without any pain killers…
Piggy-backing on that, I drove today. I drove into town today by myself.
Knock on wood, cross your fingers – but I think I’m rounding the corner, friends. I think the end is in sight.

Happy New Year!


Days 6 & 7:
Here are some of my current questions:

  1. Why do my ears feel like someone jabbed a stick in them and left it in there?
  2. Were they going to tell me that it hurts to stick out my tongue?
  3. Why are my doctors both on vacation? I’m about to run out of pain killers. WHY did they go on vacation?*
  4. Does anyone have extra narcotics? LOL.
  5. Is it going to be above 0 degrees anytime soon?

Here are some of my current comments:

  • I can’t believe how bad my breath smells and tastes. wow, you guys.
  • I’ve worn my glasses since the day of surgery. mostly because who knows when and where I’m going to fall asleep. Lol
  • Ice cream & Pudding.
  • Whining helps so much.
  • I can talk loud, so people say “what?” a lot… as if I’m going to be able to strain my neck and vocal chords to meet their need of a stronger, louder, more clear voice. Sorry I can’t even stick out my tongue – move your ear closer to me.*
  • I’ve gotten a lot of crafting done so I’ll have some new stuff up on my craft page soon!
  • I’ve taken pictures of my throat before and every day since surgery. I think doctors should pay me for my photos (with my captions on each) to show people what they are about to get themselves into.*

*I’m genuinely sorry about the sass. This sucks.


Cinco de Tonsils:
Hello friends, my sass has surfaced a bit today – you’ve been warned! So, first, to any adults considering getting these damn things removed, here are a few disclaimers you need to know:

  1. Do not get within 3 feet of anyone. Today my dad goes, “You need to go brush your teeth, your breath is atrocious.” I WOULD BE OFFENDED, but I said back, “You think I smell bad? You should taste the taste in my mouth right now. I brush and brush, but it doesn’t go away!” He felt bad. lol
  2. Narcotics are fine and all, until:you have to eat something with them every time you take them (mac-n-cheese and applesauce every 4 hours)
    • NAUSEA IF YOU DON’T EAT. 3am? eat or by 8am you’ll want to throw yourself inside the toilet.
    • they make you constipated, yet gassy. HOW.
    • they make me an emotional meatball about 1 hour after taking them
    • i literally cannot keep my balance about 1 hour and 15 minutes after taking them
    • you become a permanent resident in your bed (p.s. flip your mattress a few times during this stupid recovery)
    • you count down the minutes until you can take more and justify taking them 1/2 hour early because it’s fine.
  3. You will be babysat. 4% of people bleed (gushing blood) after this stupid surgery and for some reason, people think you’ll be one of that 4% if you don’t watch you like watching paint dry.
  4. To walk up a normal flight of stairs is  c a r d i o. I’m doubled over when I get to the top to let me heart rate drop from 180 bpm visceral fat zone back to 60bpm-I-reside-in-my-bed zone.
  5. This isn’t a tonsillectomy recovery, this is a straight-up diet. I am skinny. I eat applesauce and mac-n-cheese. The only reason I ate something other than those two things is because my extended family made food for Christmas. Bless.

Until tomorrow!


Day 4 – Christmas Hangover:
A sleep schedule is not my thing lately. 1:30, 3:00, 4:30, 5:00am, etc. take meds, take the other meds, eat a snack so I don’t get nauseous, take meds. That’s about all! Today has been a little different though, as I’ve been nauseous all day. Nausea is a curse and it manhandles you unlike any other way the term “manhandling” can be used. So as I typed this, I found myself on the bathroom floor, blanket draped over me, bucket in hand, waiting to erupt. Ugh. Good news though, I did not erupt and I just successfully ate a crustless grilled cheese with luke-warm tomato soup! Yahooooo!!!! Finally, some substance.


Christmas!!
Today was a very good day! I spent majority of it with tiny wads of paper towel in my ears to muffle the booming of, what is normally, typical-sounding conversations around me. For some reason the quietest of noises pierce straight through my ears. I stayed on top of my meds and I stayed at about a 2 on the pain scale! For lunch I had, get this, pickle roll ups, my aunt’s infamous jello, some buffalo chicken dip, a couple cream cheese roll ups, and meatballs! I swear it was gold sent from heaven.


Day 3:
Not good, guys. I woke up nauseous and soon after, tossed all my cookies. Although I felt better after that, I hovered at about a 5 on the pain scale and knew I wouldn’t be able to keep down any meds I wanted to for a while. I finally started taking some medicine again early evening leading me into a talkless, yet wonderful, Christmas Eve evening where I was determined to eat my favorite, green bean casserole, homemade mashed potatoes, and 2 deviled eggs. Success!! I closed out the night feeling beyond cloud 9 ;) and decided I would be faithful to medicating when I do not have an empty stomach.

Fun fact of the day: on top of tossing my cookies, I got hiccups 4 times.


Day 2 – tonsil-less:
Today’s activities:
– I mustered up the ambition to craft for about an hour
– My lovely caretaker and mother warmed me up some left over mac-n-cheese
– I’m working hard to catch up on How to Get Away with Murder
– In my (lots) of spare time I am reading For the Love  by Jen Hatmaker
– I even went to a Packer party at my brother’s house and ate about 12 pickle roll ups tonight!
– Pain and discomfort is increasing, but so is my dose of oxycodone :)

Today’s fun facts:
– Oxycodone causes minor itching.
– My throat is fuzzy white (scabs).
– My uvula is the size of a dinosaur and blocks my airway when I lay on my back.
– I don’t lay on my back. lol
– Napping is actually the best thing in the world.
– I am taking daily progress pics of my throat.
– I recommend Kim as a caretaker and a mom if anyone in looking.

Not a horrible day, my friends! Thanks to all who checked in on me via texts, I felt the love today :)


Post-op Update:
Here’s what, I’m sure, you all want to know: I’m alive! And I feel good good good. My uvula is huge, and my lack-of tonsil sights look like I felt in the BearHugger – a toasted marshmallow. No pain yet = no narcotics yet. And Kim made me room-temp, watered-down Mac-n-Cheese!!! Yum. So – I’m sleepy, I’m warm, I have a headache, my ears are sensitive to sound, and I’m chatty!

Guys, one of my OR nurses was a Deiss, duh. Dr. Coyle, my surgeon – great man. Ryan, my anesthesiologist – hilarious and very kind, he had me take my glasses off then let me walk to the bathroom. LOL. I needed him to come back in the bathroom to grab my drip bag because I literally couldn’t see anything. Ryan wheeled my into the OR where it was actually a party. Music, people all around, and a man said, “Welcome! This is all for you!” as he gestured toward his crew and the bed. I don’t recall how I got onto the operating table. I also think they asked me what music I wanted to listen to but I could be making that up. Ryan put a mask on me and LIGHTS OUT.

So after surgery, I couldn’t remember Deann’s name and kept asking over and over. Apparently she was also Corey’s nurse earlier this year! Kim says my doctors/nurses and I came out of the OR laughing – No shock, I’m so damn funny ;) I asked her if, while I was in surgery, she went to the gift shop and bought me a teddy bear. She didn’t. Eye roll and huff. They showed me my tonsils in a jar, but I didn’t remember. They kept asking me if I saw my tonsils and I kept saying, “I remember, but I don’t remember!” When Kim told me she took a picture of them I was on-the-moon happy. Per Kim’s recall, I asked if the garbage man takes them when they dispose of them. LOL. I’m still wondering though… ALSO, it was Tami’s 25th anniversary of being a nurse today, that was fun – she is the best. :)

I’m doing well, tonsils are peace-out, I’m going to sleep my face off, and I got a free pair of socks! Stay tuned – the worst is yet to come!


1:00pm day of surgery!!!!!!!!!
Tami is a very kind pre-op nurse with three kids and husband. She brought me into room #4 (which happens to be my favorite number – I don’t think this is a coincidence), she gave me a nice purple BearHugger gown and grippy hospital socks! She plugged a big tube into my gown that blows warm air so I’m a giant toasted marshmallow :)

IV – check, call button – check, designated driver – check (she has a puke bucket in the car. eye roll.) I’m comfy, but hungry. So far, this is a piece of cake. ;)


December 22, 2017 – the day my life will change forever because, what do tonsils even do, anyway? They take up room in my throat, that’s what. They aren’t even full tonsils, they’re half-assing thingies in the back of my mouth that are supposed to help “fight off germs” – whatever that means, that have HOLES in them. Giant meteorites come out of them and I gag like when the doctor sticks a wooden tongue depressor down your throat. Tonsil-stones. The WORST possible thing that could happen to my throat besides mono, strep-throat, and seasonal chest-colds. I can’t even swallow a damn medium-rare perfectly prepared piece of steak cubed up into the smallest bites The Littles could eat them in one swallow – but, noooooo, Katie Deiss has to over work her jaw muscles and dip her head like a giraffe to force food from her tongue down to her stomach. Okay, I’m done. Literally and figuratively. I’m done ranting, and I’m done with these germ-collecting, massive, white-spot, bigger-than-my-actual-throat, style-cramping, life-nuisances. So, December 22nd, tomorrow, they get cut out and never come back. Bless. I hope you’re all ready for 2 weeks of annoying complaining because: a. I’m not going through this tragedy alone, and b. whining helps (my latest motto). Stick around, friends. I’m going to keep you up-to-date on my pain level, activities, and sleeping patterns. Disclaimer: I’ll be heavily medicated :)


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